I recently had to travel for work, and it was the worst travel adventures I have encountered yet. On my 3rd plane going to Washington DC, I decided to write a little personal BLOG about pregnancy. So here it is.
The final ten weeks of pregnancy is upon us. It is crazy to look at the last seven months of mine and Amanda’s life. This is a little BLOG that I wanted to write about what I have gone through in the last 30 weeks.
When Amanda first came home and told me she was pregnant, I was shocked. It was interesting timing for sure. When we first got married in 2007, Amanda and I decided that we wanted to wait five years until we started trying to have a baby. Knowing that God could change that plan at any time, I am shocked that we made it as long as we did. We wanted to wait 5 years so we could “be married” for a while. We found out that Amanda was pregnant about two of three weeks after our 5 year anniversary, and she was about six or seven weeks along. I think we both were shocked for a couple of reasons. The first being that we weren’t trying to get pregnant at the time, and secondly, because for our five year anniversary we went skydiving. Twice. We knew then that our baby was a strong baby, and was probably going to be a thrill seeker.
When Amanda told me she was pregnant, I was shocked and excited but all those emotions started to fade away as time past. I don’t think it is any secret that Woman and Men go through pregnancy differently. When a Woman finds out she is pregnant, I think she immediately has a connection with the baby. But for Men, I think it takes a long time for it to start feeling real and for us to have a connection. At least that was the case for me. My wife was unfortunately pretty sick the first 12 weeks, and it wasn’t fun for either of us. During the first 12 weeks, I think we both thought this might be our only child. Then the second trimester came and the sickness went away, thank God. Even though the sickness went away, new and different things started happening to my wife that she didn’t like. Her body started changing in ways that she never would of imagined of. Obviously we knew her belly was going to grow and we I think were mentally prepared for that, but we found out that all parts of the body are affected. I wont get in to details since I value my marriage and would like to eat dinner tonight. With these new findings of body changes it still seemed like this was going to only be our one child. I think about week 17-20 was when things instantly changed for Amanda. It was Christmas morning and Amanda felt our baby for the first time. There were times before then she thought she might of felt her move, but wasn’t really sure if that was her, or gas. Christmas morning was the real deal. I got Amélie headphones for Christmas that Amanda could put around her belly and let her listen to music. As we were waiting to take Amanda’s cousin to the airport, we decided to try out these headphones. I put on Big Swing Face by Buddy Rich and she started to move like crazy. Which was really awesome to hear she likes Jazz. As soon as she started feeling our baby move and right then it seemed the first trimester and the first part of the second trimester was forgotten. From there Amanda started bonding even more with our baby and had a complete different outlook on pregnancy.
It took me quite a bit longer to start making a connection with our little alien. Don’t get me wrong; I was excited from the start about the idea of a baby, and getting the room ready and stuff like that. But it didn’t feel real to me until around week 25-26 and I felt our Baby kick. Right then it was like a light bulb and every thing was real. It seemed right when that happened, I started to make a connection and also started realizing that, “Wow, in a few months we will actually have a baby… and we’re going to be responsible for said baby.” Every night I would come home from work, I would be excited to lay my hand on Amanda’s belly and wait for a little kick from her. I still feel weird about talking to the baby. I realize this is probably not normal at all, but I don’t know. It’s just weird to me. I love hearing Amanda tell me the baby startes moving and kicking when I start talking. That makes me think even though I don’t talk directly in to the belly button that the baby knows my voice and knows whom I am.
I love playing little games with Amélie. There was one night that I was placing my hand on Amanda’s belly and Amélie put her foot, or hand up to where mine was and just pushed against me. It felt like time stopped and we were comparing hand sizes. Who knows what she was really doing, but I like to think that is what we were doing. *New addition- The other night Amélie was going nuts in Amanda’s belly. I started pushing right where she was kicking, and it seemed that we were trying to see who could push back harder. It was so awesome!*
The closer we get to have Amélie arrive the more excited I get. The less I worry about the costs of having a baby and the more I look forward to playing with her. There are nights it that it takes me so long to fall asleep because I will just lay there and think about so many things. What she will look like, what I am going to feel when I first hold her, how much I am going to cry and still feel like a man. I am so excited to read bedtime stories and tell her about the Bible. I am excited for her to ask questions about music and to see if she decides to play an instrument. I am excited to lay in bed with her and watch cartoons as Mommy sleeps in a little bit. I am excited to pick her up from school and get to see the latest art project she made. I often stress about reality of things, the cost of things. But God has brought a peace over me that makes that all go away at the thought of this baby he created for us. I don’t give up control easily, but I know God will take care of us with financial needs and parenting needs.
I am so proud of my wife. She has been such a trooper through everything that her body is doing. She still works fulltime while being pregnant. She is so strong and I am completely impressed with her ability. I am so excited to do this next part of our lives together and I hope that this brings us even closer than we are now.